We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
