Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
