I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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