he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
being pregnant is like rehab
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I have peed in a lot of sinks
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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