She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
