Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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