saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Still dying that you shit outside
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
