belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You dont lie about slip and slides
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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