Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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