Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
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