After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
It was confusing and full of hummus
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
