thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You may now shotgun with the bride
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
