Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
