Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
