I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
