i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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