The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize