Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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