I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
