i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Randomize
