My sheets look like a crime scene.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
