His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm at about main and main street
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
