he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
