They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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