i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Randomize
