her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Ketchup is God's man juice
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
