ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
