the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
