is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
As shirtless as possible
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
