omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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