Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
