I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
