I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
