I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
