he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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