After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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