Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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