i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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