I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
that may or may not have been my penis.
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