Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
