I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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