Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
