btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
