White coat. Heels.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
