I just cut my nipple shaving
its not stalking. its research.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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