Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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