He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Randomize
