Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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