my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
