We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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