i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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