The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
