covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
