Dual....:-)
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
