i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
