You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
