I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize