Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
