there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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