so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
