u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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