am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
