i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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