thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I think my fart just growled at me.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
